How to Write a Eulogy
“The writing and reading of a eulogy is, above all, the simple and elegant search for small truths. This can be surprisingly hard—to notice the smallest, most unpolished details of a life and set them before us in the wonder of recognition.”
— Tom Chiarella, How to Give a Eulogy
How Do You Begin Writing a Eulogy?
Editor Carol DeChant explains that while obituaries tend to function as brief biographies focused on what a person did, a eulogy goes deeper. A eulogy speaks to who a person truly was and is meant for those who knew and cared for them—or who care deeply for the family left behind.
In How to Write a Eulogy, Christina Ianzito shares the following guidance, much of it drawn from Garry Schaeffer’s book A Labor of Love: How to Write a Eulogy:
- Start with an outline. An outline helps keep your thoughts organized and breaks the writing process into manageable pieces.
- Invite input from others. Family members and friends may share meaningful stories or perspectives you hadn’t considered.
- Show, don’t just tell. If you describe a trait—such as generosity or kindness—include a story that brings that quality to life.
- Keep the focus on your loved one. While your perspective matters, the eulogy should center on the person being honored. Asking someone else to review your draft can help ensure that balance.
- Allow room for humor. Shared laughter can be deeply healing, so don’t be afraid to include lighthearted moments.
- Write freely at first. Your first draft doesn’t need to be perfect. Focus on getting your thoughts down without overthinking each word.
- Step away when needed. Writing a eulogy is emotional. Taking a break can help you gain clarity and emotional space.
- Return to revise and polish. This is your opportunity to refine your words and shape the final tribute.
- Prepare for delivery. Print a clear, easy-to-read copy in a large font so you can focus on speaking rather than struggling to read your notes.
Delivering a Eulogy
Unless you are a seasoned public speaker, delivering a eulogy can feel intimidating and emotionally taxing. To help steady yourself in the moment, consider the following:
- Take your time and speak slowly
- Breathe deeply and pause when needed
- Stay as relaxed as possible
- Take small sips of water throughout
If you have concerns about speaking in front of an audience, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask someone else to read the eulogy on your behalf or to designate a backup person who can step in if needed.
As author Tom Chiarella explains, giving a eulogy can be a meaningful experience, even when it feels difficult. Writing it may be painful, and reading it aloud can be even harder. In those moments, when emotions rise and the world seems to fade, it helps to remember that you were chosen to speak. You are being given the opportunity to stand before others and help define the shape of a life—offering words when words may feel impossible.
Where to Find the Best Eulogies Online
All you need to do is search online for "best eulogies" or simply "eulogies"—you'll be directed to literally dozens of videos and articles.
Should you still find yourself in need of support, please give us a call. We will be delighted to discuss other available resources.
Sources:
- Chiarella, Tom, "How to Give a Eulogy"
- Ianzito, Christina, "How to Write a Eulogy"
