Memorial FAQ

Here’s an interesting way to answer the question: a memorial service is not a funeral. Picture what you think of as a traditional funeral—and then let that image go. While both ceremonies have structure and are meant to bring people together in support and remembrance, one is far less formal than the other. A memorial service is not led by clergy, but guided by a celebrant or master of ceremonies. It invites everyone in attendance to take part in some way, rather than simply observe and reflect.

Think of a memorial service as a midpoint on the spectrum of service formats. On one end is the more formal, clergy-led funeral service—often made up of three parts: the visitation, the funeral, and a committal service at the cemetery. On the other end is a celebration of life, where the focus is on the individual’s passions, interests, and personal accomplishments. A funeral is not typically celebratory, while a celebration of life is centered entirely on celebration. A memorial service gently blends elements of both—though, in truth, no two memorial services are ever the same. For additional guidance, speaking with your funeral professional can offer helpful perspective.

There’s no single way to say which type of service is best for your situation—and we don’t believe that decision is ours to make. Instead, our role is to help you understand the full range of possibilities. We’re here to explain your options and offer thoughtful suggestions, all with the goal of empowering you to choose what feels right for you and those you care about.

This question is a lot like asking, “How much does it cost to buy a car?” The answer depends entirely on the options you choose—the features and details selected during the arrangement conference. When you meet with a funeral director to discuss service costs, you’ll be provided with a copy of the firm’s General Price List. This outlines the basic professional services included in your loved one’s memorial service, along with the cost of any additional items or services you’ve chosen. We invite you to call us to talk through what a memorial service can offer your family, and to gain a clearer understanding of the associated costs.

Some of the things you'll discuss with your funeral director involve purchases made from outside vendors, and you will be asked to pay for those items at the time of the arrangement conference.  One of the most common is the fee charged by a newspaper to print your loved one's obituary. Another cash advance charge could be for clergy or musician's fees, floral arrangements, reception necessities, such as food/beverage or facility rental. Your funeral director will provide you with a detailed invoice for all cash advance items.

Some of the topics you’ll discuss with your funeral director involve items purchased through outside vendors, and payment for those items is typically collected at the time of the arrangement conference. One of the most common examples is the fee charged by a newspaper to publish your loved one’s obituary. Other cash advance expenses may include clergy or musician fees, floral arrangements, or reception-related needs such as food and beverages or facility rental. Your funeral director will provide a detailed invoice outlining all cash advance items, so you have a clear understanding of each expense.

The vendors we work with—such as newspapers, florists, caterers, and musicians—require payment for goods and services when they are ordered or delivered. Because of these good-faith relationships, those costs are collected at the conclusion of the arrangement conference. Your funeral director will take the time to clearly explain any cash advance expenses that may be part of your service planning, so you understand exactly what they are and why they apply.

As a general guideline, payment is typically expected when the service contract is signed—usually during the arrangement conference or shortly afterward. Your funeral director can walk you through the timing and answer any questions you may have.

We’ve written several pages about memorial service planning, but the short answer includes choosing the location, date, and time of the service. You’ll also be asked to select readings, music, food or beverages, and any activities you’d like to include, along with identifying the people you wish to participate in the service itself. Memorial service planning isn’t difficult—it’s empowering. After all, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show the world how much your loved one meant to you. We invite you to speak with one of our service planning professionals to learn more.

How involved would you like to be? Your funeral director will guide you through a few essential details, such as the location and timing of the service. From there, you’ll make key decisions together—but once those choices are in place, you’re free to step back and allow us to take care of the rest, or remain as involved as you wish.

You’ll be asked to provide the information and documents needed to complete your loved one’s death certificate and obituary. You may also choose to bring a selection of family photographs for use in a tribute video or to help personalize the service space. Depending on the arrangements you make, additional items may be requested as well. Your funeral director will provide a clear list of everything they would like you to bring to the arrangement conference.

A celebrant is a professional trained to lead formal ceremonies such as weddings, baptisms, and funerals. They are not clergy; rather, they serve as skilled masters of ceremonies and storytellers. Celebrants work closely with the family to create a service that reflects the beliefs, cultural background, values, and aspirations of both your loved one and your family. If you feel a celebrant may be the right fit, your funeral director can help guide that conversation.

In many cases, the funeral director who meets with you during the arrangement conference will take on the responsibility of writing the obituary. You’ll support that process by providing the necessary legal documents—such as birth certificates, military records, and marriage or divorce decrees—along with meaningful details about your loved one’s life. If you or another family member or friend would prefer to write the obituary, we’re happy to guide you through the process.