I would like to try to tell you some things about my brother.  I don’t know how far I will make it because my soul is shaken and my heart is shattered.  I keep thinking of all things we are not going to be able to do together anymore, I was not finished with him yet.  He was not perfect, but I loved him anyway.  Everybody loved him.  He had Dad’s charm and sense of humor and Mon’s heart.  We all think he was Mom’s favorite by she will never admit to that.  He was a playful teaser, but not a mean one.  He could sell ice to Eskimos and have them come back and ask if he had any snow they could buy.  One of his flaws was that he had a TERRIBLE memory.  You had to remind him constantly of what he said he was going to do or when something was scheduled for.  He loved the cards I gave to him.  He called them Cathy cards.  I already have his next birthday card but I guess he is not going to get to see it.  Trust me it was good.

     He was born to be a farmer.  Nothing made him happier than to be on a tractor in a field.  We moved to the farm when he was a baby and it was the first thing he knew and the last.  I think he must have been baptized with manure because he was surrounded by BS all his life.  He was full of it and spread it wherever he went.  Even his initials were BS. 

     He was the youngest of the 5 of us, but he would in no uncertain terms tell you he was not a baby.  He had a temper when he was younger and he knew how to use it.  He was Robin to Mike’s Batman.  We would get 5 cents (or a quarter if we were lucky) after church on Sunday to pick out a candy bar or some gum, so Mom could shop in peace.  You would ask everybody if you could have some of theirs, but the answer of course was no.  But Barry would always share his and you didn’t even have to give him any of yours.   We could not have a Tarbert get-together without him getting a bloody nose or causing one. 

     We moved from the farm when he was 5.  What was he going to do? because school was no replacement for plowing and feeding.  Well, he found a farm at the end of the road and he found Lois and Levi, his second set of parents.  He practically lived there.  If you couldn’t find him around the house, the only response was “He must be at Levi’s”.  The only punishment he could ever be given was to tell him he couldn’t go up to the farm.  Small deterrent.  He was defiant enough to just go anyway or become such a terror that we all would beg Mom to please send him back up there.  Levi and Lois did not have children of their own at the time and didn’t realize they could do better.  Well luckily for them Steve arrived and now Barry had his own little brother forever.     

     Then the teenage years.  I don’t know even a portion of what he actually did but the statute of limitations may not have expired on everything, so we will just skip over them. 

     He did grow up and mellowed and had three wonderful children.  Beautiful Jenna, his duplicate copy Nick and the fearless Adrianna.  Ever since his children were born he permanently changed our names.  He never again walked in the door and greeted her with “Hi Mom!” it has been “Hey Grandma” ever since.  He has never called her Mom again.  He always refers to her as Grandma.  I am now only known as Aunt Cathy to everyone no matter their age.  He wasn’t a perfect father but he did love his children.  He worked construction all his adult life to support his family.  There were bumps and bruises, just like everyone goes through and he drifted around for a while.  Then a few years ago things started looking better. 

     This is where some of my best memories are because we got to spend more time together again.  He moved in with me and Mom for while.  We were so happy to have someone to do all those handyman tasks that two women can’t or don’t want to do.  He would do anything for anybody and never complain.  Most evenings we would sit and watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune together.  We would shout out the answer and he would just shake his head at us and say “I don’t know why you two are sitting in this living room and not on the show winning some money”.  From then on every time Mom and I are impressed with ourselves for solving the big puzzle or getting the final Jeopardy answer the first thing we say is “Let’s call Barry”.  We won’t be able to do that anymore. 

     This summer I met Cal Ripken at a ball game.  I asked him to get out of my seat and he had me sit next to him.  We talked to each other for a while and I got pictures and autographs.  I was really excited and everyone else thought it was pretty cool.  Well, Barry got tired of me sharing this and finally said “My God, we are going to be hearing about this for the next year!”   Well, we did not get another year together so for the record:  “I met Cal Ripken and I got my picture taken with him!!!”.

     A couple of years ago he decided that the kids were grown now and he was done with construction, so he went back to what he loved…farming.  He went back to Lois and Steve and Lori and now Cora.  You could just see how happy he was.  There was nothing better than to be driving a tractor and covered in straw and hay and manure.  It was what God had made him for.  His other happiness also came at this time, his grandchildren Delaney and Landon.  He was their “Bear”.  The only thing better than your children are your grandchildren.   

     Now we come to the reason we are all here.  The worst day of my life.  Worse than when Dad died, because Dad was a parent and not supposed to be your friend.  Barry was my brother and my friend.  So please indulge me because I keep replaying what happened last Monday night and I am still struggling to process it.  Mom got the news that Barry had passed out and she called me to come home and we would figure out what was going on and go from there.  Barry had never passed out before and it didn’t make sense.  So I went straight to his house.  The fire truck was pulling out and the ambulance and police were still there.  I got out of my car and a policeman came toward me and I said “It’s my brother”.  He told me he was in the ambulance.  I was sure he was in there joking around with the crew and just waiting to leave for the hospital.  Then he took my hands and said “Let me tell what has been happening”.  He started telling me things but wasn’t letting go of my hands.  Then I realized the ambulance was not leaving for the hospital and I was being told as the next of kin.  They asked me if I wanted to see him and I said “No, because then it would be real” and it didn’t want it to be real and I still don’t. 

     Then the worst moment of my life.  I had to tell my mother that he didn’t make it.  I had to tell the rest of the family which was only slightly easier. We are all devastated because no one saw it coming or expected it at all.  He was loved so much we could have had 100 pallbearers.  All everyone can say is I just saw him the other day.  I don’t know if he knows it or not that he is going to spend eternity next to me.  Sorry about your luck.  We have a wedding in three weeks and Jill’s adored Uncle Barry is not going to be here to walk her down the aisle.  It is not going to be as happy an event as we had hoped with him not there.  We have to move on somehow without him. 

      Every time he said goodbye he would kiss me on the top of my forehead and say “Glad you got to see me”.  So my dear brother, until my time comes and I see you again ”Glad I got to see you!”.